Calorie Sampling

Breakfast - 209 calories

• Fruit Smoothie - 200 calories (3 oz each of blueberries, strawberries, berry mix, 1/2 banana, and 4 fl oz each of light soy milk, V8 fusion light)
• Green Tea - 4 calories (16 oz loose leaf brewed in tap water)
• Psyllium Husk Fiber Supplement - 5 calories (1 tsp in 8 oz of tap water)
• Vitamin/Mineral Supplement - 0

Lunch - 565 calories

• 2 cups spring mix greens - 10 calories
• 1 cup baby arugula - 10 calories
• 1 red pear - 100 calories
• 1 orange - 69 calories 
• 1 avocado - 276 calories
• 2 tbsp Key Lime-Dijon Vinaigrette dressing - 100 calories

Total - 774 calories

Weight Honesty

To be honest I think I was more passionate about the weigh issue when I couldn't see my weight on the scale. Since then I've been doing nothing but (*gasp*) loosing weight every week. To be fair I've not been entirely honest about my progress. I did start out writing what I weighed every week and to be fair to myself there isn't a weigh there that wasn't on the scale. My fudging has actually been on the under-reporting side - ya, I actually tend to weigh a little less than what I've been saying on a weekly basis.

My "reasoning", if you can call it that, was so I could "feel" I made weight loss progress even if I didn't for a given week. Turns out so far I haven't needed that under-padding. Every week I've lost about 1-2 lbs but now there's a large gap - like 5.5 lbs worth that will be hard to report on. Better just own up to whatever the scale says instead of fudging a higher weight - sounds silly.

In that spirit the scale said 306.5 lbs this morning. I don't believe that's actually correct since it's also said 308 but repeated weighting kept saying 306.5 so I guess I'll have to go with that. Hopefully I won't find out the scale lied to me and I'm actually 308 and change. I hate and am afraid not to loose something per week. I don't want to plateau and have to debug what's going on.

So, we're nearly at 45 lbs. lost and I'm really proud of myself for that. I may need to get a new belt soon, not to mention more new pants, since I'm also closing in on 4 inches off my waste line. I stared out as a snug 46 and am now a loose 44. I have a pair of old corduroys size 42 that I want to be able to comfortably slip on. They are really out of style but it's a clothing goal.

Old Clothes, New Feelings

Reaching in the back of the closet the other morning I discovered a pile of my clothes that I had not seen in ages. Evidently my wife put some "too small" pants and a few "too narrow" shirts away for safe keeping as I moved up the scale. For kicks I decided to give them a whirl and found that a couple of the pants and most of the shirts were now wearable, although horribly out of style. It made me feel really good that I'm making progress despite the fact that they are headed to the textile recycling bin at the dump next week.

Also as I look at myself in the mirror I see that my face is no longer as round as it was, but square to angular. I recognize the eyes looking back at me, but the face seems strange. There are other parts of my upper anatomy that look strangely new to me as well; my neck, shoulder muscles, arms and hand are showing definition (and age) that was hidden. It makes me wonder about the body that will emerge over time. I'm not going as far as the butterfly in the cocoon but that's the image that pops in to my head.

All this is getting me paranoid that I'll hit some plateau and not loose any more weigh, give up and regain it all. That's my greatest fear at this point. Still at 312 lbs. this week - 39 lbs total in just 4+ months! - I would be happy to maintain this status for a time. I don't want to sound satisfied but I am happy/ecstatic with my progress. Never the less I want to hit that next milestone of 299! It feels close and reachable now.

I feel as if I've crossed some threshold on the way down that I can loose as much as I want by managing how much and what I eat, and feel that I can manage it. I feel good about the food I'm putting in me, even as I feel I can eat less of it. It feels somewhat like when I kicked smoking - a feeling that I could manage it from here on out. I don't feel as "attached" to food as I used to be. Its there to nourish, provide some "spice" to life, a setting to enjoy with others but not something I'm focused on as I once was. It's a much better feeling!

Moving On Down

After a week at my moms and a bout with what appears to be an intestinal virus, I'm somewhere between 314 and 316 lbs - I hate my bathroom scale! We'll call it 316 lbs and be done with it. I'm quite sure having the intestinal virus helped with the weigh loss since I ate more than I needed to on vacation - Krystal's (only 4 during the entire trip though) and Red Pig BBQ (I can never resist).

Still, I was able to stay away from McDonald's while on the road and when we ate out at Fatz. I had fish, rice and veggies instead of beef and potatoes. I mostly stuck to my breakfast smoothie and salads for lunch. Dinner was almost like being at home - fish, pasta, chicken, etc. I think I only had beef one night (well except for the Krystal's). I made sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast for mom and I a couple of mornings. For snacking in the car I took Kashi granola bars, watter, and redskin peanuts. All in all not too bad - I didn't gain any and ended up loosing 2.5 lbs since my last weigh-in.

So at 316 lbs - 35 total pounds lost - I'm ready for my next goal - 299 lbs. That would put me 52 lbs down. Looking back I see that it's taken me a bit longer than a month to loose 10 lbs. Perhaps I can hit 299 by July 4th (sooner would be better!)

Close Enough to Taste It

This week finds me at 318.5 lbs. If I were not visiting my mother next week, I would think that the next goal was within reach. Alas, my mother always goes out of her way to feed me well while I'm there, but she also has plenty for me to do - help in the garden, with the lawn, the odd chores around the house, etc.

On the bright side, I let her know that I've lost 30 lbs so we've been talking about "AB's lists". Perhaps that'll help with the food intake. That and I got her a IngenuiTea tea pot with a green tea sampler for her birthday. I do have ulterior gift giving motives at times - I didn't want to have to take mine with me.

There's another factor at play here - I'm driving down with my wife and son. Long Drives = Snack Food. It's 18+ hours from where I live here in the north east to where she is in the south. I'm planning on making a healthy dinner to eat on the road for Friday evening as we leave but that leaves all day Saturday to fight the snacking urge. Nothing to do but drive and snack. Besides the obvious choice of nuts and granola bars, what else can I find to snack on? I also dread the "fast food" for lunch (and maybe breakfast). All in all I'll need to do some advance planning for Saturday not to mention the return trip home.

My goal is to maintain the weight I have and not get sucked into having high sugar snacks, fast food, cookies and pies, which is what usually happens when I visit Mom - she's a great cook!

Calorie Sampling

Breakfast - 209 calories

• Fruit Smoothie - 200 calories (3 oz each of blueberries, strawberries, berry mix, 1/2 banana, and 4 fl oz each of light soy milk, V8 fusion light)
• Green Tea - 4 calories (16 oz loose leaf brewed in tap water)
• Psyllium Husk Fiber Supplement - 5 calories (1 tsp in 8 oz of tap water)
• Vitamin/Mineral Supplement - 0

Morning Snack - 140 calories

• Kashi Trail Mix granola bar - 140 calories (1 bar)

Lunch - 457 calories

• 2 cups spring mix greens - 10 calories
• 1 cup baby arugula - 10 calories
• 1 kiwi - 25 calories
• 2 clementines - 46 calories 
• 1 avocado - 276
• 2 tbsp balsamic dressing - 90 calories

Dinner - 458 calories

• Steelhead Trout w/butter and wine - 215 calories
• orange glazed carrots -  199
• 1/4 cup couscous - 44

Evening Snack - 170 calories

• redskin peanuts - 170 calories

Total - 1434 calories

Trac Check

I'm creping up on 4 months since I changed my eating habits. As I've noted, 4 months on any "new thing" is about all I can sustain before lapsing back into old ways. In some ways I can feel this pulling at me. I've drifted away somewhat from trying to maintain the "everyday" list and even unconsciously ordered fast food when the family decided to have Taco Bell - I did try one of the burritos from the "drive through diet" menu. That by itself violated 2 of the "don't eat" list items - fast food and any item with the word "diet" in it.

But I didn't shoot myself over it. I acknowledged what happened decided that it wasn't catastrophic and went on. Eating that "diet" burrito wasn't "wrong" or "bad" it was just something I ate. I enjoyed it, we had a great family evening meal together and that was better than sticking 100% to any plan.

Still I'm finding more variations that I'd like as I get closer to the 4 month line. I'm making measurable progress and now that it is warmer out I've added walking back into the mix - as long as it's above 40 and not raining, I'll walk for an hour in the evening.

On the plus side I'm getting used to the avocado, fruit and greens for lunch, but at the expense of everyday carrots in a salad. Broccoli is become at least a once a week thing. Still no soda, I'm eating breakfast every day, I'm spending more time and money in the fruit and veggies section of the store, sweets are way down. I feel best about the "no more than once per week list".

I think it is time to watch the "Live and Let Diet" episode again to refresh my memory - I have it saved on DVR. It's also time to remind myself that I have lost enough weight to see myself on the scale, which is a huge accomplishment for me. My weight loss continues at about 1-2 lbs per week - this week I'm at 321.5 lbs. I've  lost nearly 30 lbs and have 4.5 to go to hit my next goal of 317.

I'm trying to look past the 4 month line to see myself as a "thin-er" person. So far it's looking better than it has in a long time.