Numbers

There's really one number that I've been concentrating on during this odyssey and that's the one that shows up on the scale - 303.5 lbs. this week. However there are another set of numbers that need watching - cholesterol, triglycerides, HDLs, LDLs, etc.

I've been on Lipitor for a long time and it's been managing my levels, but they were never really great. Just marginal. The last time I had those numbers checked was about when I started this blog. Although I don't recall what my cholesterol levels were I do remember that my triglycerides were 417! Naturally the Dr told me I need to make a change and suggested banding - that went nowhere.

In order to renew my Lipitor and blood pressure medications I need to have the blood fat levels run each year. So this year I was really anxious to see the results. After reading them I feel like a kid with a great report card!

• cholesterol - 110, should be less than 200
• triglycerides - 136, should be less than 150
• HDL cholesterol - 34, under 40 is low, however this is primarily a function of genetics
• LDL cholesterol - 49, under 100 is best

So, with the exception of the HDL cholesterol levels things are looking rather outstanding. I can't believe the change in diet has had such a dramatic effect on the other numbers that my Dr and I care about. Ya the bottom weight/waist line is important too, but knowing that the eating I'm doing has such a positive impact on my blood chemistry is a nice bonus.

Weight To Believe

I don't know if I've written about this yet but I've been experiencing some mild to sever GI distress over the last 4-6 weeks. 'Nuf said. At any rate I finally decided to see my physician about it, but while I was in the office I took the opportunity to weigh myself on their scale - just for grins and giggles. 314 lbs. I was fully clothed, carrying my wallet, keys, and wearing boots not to mention it was late in the day. Somehow I don't think all that weights 8 lbs - 4 perhaps but certainly not 8.

Also that day I weighted myself at home early in the morning wearing nothing but a smile - 299 lbs. WHAT! Wait, that can't be right. Off and on for a couple of minutes and it really only varied by 1 lb, call it 299.5 lbs. I could not have lost 6 lbs in 1 week. No way, no how (have I mentioned I hate my home scale?).

This AM I weighed myself again - 304.5 lbs which is closer to reality for my home scale. So I guess I'll go with what got me here - using my home scale. And while I'm sure that my clothing and on-person paraphernalia add a few pounds and that I gain some weight during the day, I'm not prepared to believe that it's in the 8-10 lbs range.

Have I really lost weight? My physician's nurse noticed the weight loss and asked me about it, but I already knew I looked different. The real question is how much. At a minimum I've lost 24.5 lbs since I've been able so see my weight on my home scale. I had to loose some to get there however. The last "official" weight I had was 351 lbs on the Dr's scale. That's the upper bound. At 314 lbs on the office scale I've lost 37 lbs - nothing to sneeze at but not the 46.5 lbs that I believe I've lost according to the 351 upper bound and my current home scale reading of 304.5. There's a difference of 9.5 lbs somewhere (did I mention I hate my home scale).

My long term goal is to loose 100 lbs. I feel I'm close to 1/2 way according to my home scale but I can't account for the nearly 10 lbs I saw the other day on my Dr's scale. Even if I'm a little further away from the 1/2 way point I still feel good about where I'm at, what I've accomplished and how the process is going.

It's all good!

Weight Honesty

To be honest I think I was more passionate about the weigh issue when I couldn't see my weight on the scale. Since then I've been doing nothing but (*gasp*) loosing weight every week. To be fair I've not been entirely honest about my progress. I did start out writing what I weighed every week and to be fair to myself there isn't a weigh there that wasn't on the scale. My fudging has actually been on the under-reporting side - ya, I actually tend to weigh a little less than what I've been saying on a weekly basis.

My "reasoning", if you can call it that, was so I could "feel" I made weight loss progress even if I didn't for a given week. Turns out so far I haven't needed that under-padding. Every week I've lost about 1-2 lbs but now there's a large gap - like 5.5 lbs worth that will be hard to report on. Better just own up to whatever the scale says instead of fudging a higher weight - sounds silly.

In that spirit the scale said 306.5 lbs this morning. I don't believe that's actually correct since it's also said 308 but repeated weighting kept saying 306.5 so I guess I'll have to go with that. Hopefully I won't find out the scale lied to me and I'm actually 308 and change. I hate and am afraid not to loose something per week. I don't want to plateau and have to debug what's going on.

So, we're nearly at 45 lbs. lost and I'm really proud of myself for that. I may need to get a new belt soon, not to mention more new pants, since I'm also closing in on 4 inches off my waste line. I stared out as a snug 46 and am now a loose 44. I have a pair of old corduroys size 42 that I want to be able to comfortably slip on. They are really out of style but it's a clothing goal.

Moving On Down

After a week at my moms and a bout with what appears to be an intestinal virus, I'm somewhere between 314 and 316 lbs - I hate my bathroom scale! We'll call it 316 lbs and be done with it. I'm quite sure having the intestinal virus helped with the weigh loss since I ate more than I needed to on vacation - Krystal's (only 4 during the entire trip though) and Red Pig BBQ (I can never resist).

Still, I was able to stay away from McDonald's while on the road and when we ate out at Fatz. I had fish, rice and veggies instead of beef and potatoes. I mostly stuck to my breakfast smoothie and salads for lunch. Dinner was almost like being at home - fish, pasta, chicken, etc. I think I only had beef one night (well except for the Krystal's). I made sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast for mom and I a couple of mornings. For snacking in the car I took Kashi granola bars, watter, and redskin peanuts. All in all not too bad - I didn't gain any and ended up loosing 2.5 lbs since my last weigh-in.

So at 316 lbs - 35 total pounds lost - I'm ready for my next goal - 299 lbs. That would put me 52 lbs down. Looking back I see that it's taken me a bit longer than a month to loose 10 lbs. Perhaps I can hit 299 by July 4th (sooner would be better!)

Back in the Saddle

A little more than a week later and I'm at 328.5 lbs. My intent is not to start logging my weight per week, but reflect a bit on what happened over the intervening 8 days. It certainly was a lesson on my lifestyle changes and also of a willingness to keep at it.

The "seeing myself" mark gave me a great feeling of euphoria - it was a goal I had been after for a year. I felt so good in fact that I rewarded myself with some of those Girl Scout cookies that were still hanging around. In fact I ate a lot of them - binged I did.

Add to it that there were some rather emotional events going on within the family and familiar comfort food (and lots of it) became an emotional outlet. By Saturday I really started to feel the additional consumption but didn't want to stop the process. Funny enough, my body wouldn't let me continue down that path.

On the weekends I usually don't have my breakfast smoothie yet by Saturday night, that's exactly what I wanted for breakfast on Sunday. No eggs, not bacon or sausage but my fruit smoothie - a new comfort food? Perhaps but what does it say about the power of change when the craving isn't for the old familiar comfort foods but the new one? I didn't resist the urge since I knew it was right. Sunday AM I had my new familiar breakfast and was able to better control my eating binges. By Monday I was back in the groove again and starting to add my evening hour walks again, as the New England weather permits.

Loosing 1.5 lbs over the course of 8 days won't set the world on fire but it's progress and good progress at that. Overcoming emotional eating with new comfort food is comforting indeed.

Seeing Myself

I've arrived at a point in the journey that I've been after for nearly a year now. My first post was on March 22, 2009. At that point I weighed 351 lbs. Since then I've read, researched, walked, gone without food, counted calories, logged what I eat, given up, started over and more. Through all of that I've had a single initial objective - I wanted to see my weight on my home scale.

There have been a number of "almost" moments, only to discover that my heals or toes or sides of my feet were off the scale. As a result I've taken to weighing myself 3 or 4 times in a row just to check that I'm not getting a false reading. I've tried to limit my weight check to once or twice per week so I don't get to fixated on it. 

For nearly a year the scale has said "E" - too much weight. Well today is said 330, 329, 330, 330, 329. No matter how I stood or where I put the scale it never said "E"! I have to tell you that I smiled and despite the rough day at work, I kept on smiling! I'd finally hit my initial objective - I see myself, as I am and can measure change. 

Now, I have no idea where I was weight-wise when I restarted this time, but I know where I was when I first started and that was 351 lbs. I'm at 330 now - so put me down for 21 pounds.

I need another objective now, besides just staying below 330. I'm not sure what it'll be yet - I'm still thinking about it. I want it to be achievable but far enough out there that it'll be challenging to get to. My initial thoughts are:

• 309, basically another 21 lbs (would be a good theme, another 21)
• 300, a nice "round" number
• some non-weight target, like see how far I can get in 6 weeks (probably too much pressure)
• below 317 - the lowest weight I've been at in the last 3-4 years (I'm liking this one).

The below 317 is interesting - it's personal, has no time limit and since I can now track weight gain/loss I can see how long it takes to get there. Humm..

I do want to remind myself of a few things:

• I'm still eating what I enjoy/like, just less of it (hot dogs, tacos, burgers, meat loaf)
• I've changed a lot at once - quantity, timing of types (1 meat, 1 pasta, etc)
• I'm eating some new things - sardines/fish, avocados, green tea
• I'm eating healthy things - lots more fruits and veggies
• I'm conscious about my sugar intake - sweets are limited, but still enjoyable (and home made)
• My alcohol consumption is way down.

This is the path that I've wanted - better diet but I can still eat the things I like, e.g. hot dogs, pizza, meat loaf, etc. I just don't eat them all in the same week and week after week. I'm eating them spread out over time. I see my biggest change as eating less red meat - 1 time per week as a main dish. And now that it's getting warmer, it's time to start walking again.

Emerging Pattern

After being on this "4 list" idea for a few weeks I've started to settle into a new pattern.

• breakfast smoothie (up to 10 oz of fruit) w/a multi-vitamin
• 8-10 oz of water with 1 tsp flax seed fiber added
• green tea - 16 oz
• usually salad for lunch (2 cups lettuce, w/onions, carrots, cucumbers, tomatos, almonds)
• 3x/week add sardines in salad
• sometime left over home-made soup
• 1 Kashi Honey Almond Flax granola bar either right after lunch or around 3ish
• 8-10 oz of water with 1 tsp flax seed fiber added while preparing dinner - some cocktail
• Dinner - more on that below, trying to stay to 1.5-2 helpings of whatever we're having
• green tea - 16 oz, right after dinner or around 9 PM
• snack around 10 PM or so - either almonds or low-fat, no sugar added yogurt.

I'm doing pretty well on the "eat every day" list with the exception of carrots. If I don't eat a salad I usually don't eat carrots. Occasionally I'll make them with dinner. On the 3x per week list I'm really struggling with broccoli, sweet potatoes and avocados. I may have to try including broccoli in a salad, same with avocados and I'm just not into sweet potatoes. I'll probably look into comparable super food substitutes.

I think I'm most proud of staying away from the "never eat" list. I've had no soda for nearly 3 weeks. I've had only 1 meal containing pre-processed food - some frozen boneless buffalo wing-lets that I warmed, ran through the food processor and made a passable chicken salad sandwich out of. Interesting idea, didn't live up taste-wise. No canned soup, no "diet" anything and no fast food!

I use the no more than 1x per week as my dinner guide. Each week I plan 1 red meat centered meal, 1 pasta centered meal, and at least 1 vegetarian and 1 chicken meal. I have enough on hand to make salads for lunch on the weekends and perhaps a small cheese pizza.

Desserts, well there was that spice cake that I had on 2 successive days, as well as the butterscotch pie, but that's pretty good! But I only prepare 1 dessert for the week and after a couple of days take what remains out of the house - sent it with my wife to where she works. Alcohol - this is were I figured I have the most problems. I love to have a couple of drinks on Friday and Saturday - sometimes more than a couple. So far I've been able to have a single (albit large) Scotch and soda on Friday and sometimes a single beer on Saturday. I don't know that I can get down to 1/week, but that I'm down to 2 for a number of weeks in a row is a good thing.

.. and I'm eating breakfast every day! Monday-Friday it's the smoothie. Weekend I play fry cook - eggs or pancakes/waffles, with a side of either hash browns, sausage or bacon. Occasionally I'll make biscuits and saw mill gravy. Mind you I'm watching the portions but after drinking my breakfast Monday-Friday I look forward to a fry cook breakfast.

I feel better. I can tell I've lost a little around the middle - may be just water wait but who cares. I have more energy and I feel good about what I'm putting in my system . I'm reading the sugar content of things and am more aware of how the sugar cycle effects my eating. I get discouraged at times that I'm not making faster progress but that I'm making a little progress - whether in keeping to the list or in bodily changes -  is keeping me going right now. I really want this to work!

Measurable Progress

Yesterday I had a meeting to attend so rather than wear my normal jeans attire I grabbed a pair of khakis. After pressing I put them on. They felt different; snug, but comfortable. I have a pair of 46's that I usually wear but they are more loose fitting. Checking the size of what I had on I saw that they were my old 44's! That made my day.

This AM when I threw on my jeans I noticed that I'm almost to the point of using the third hole on my belt. When I started this, the first hole was about all that felt good. I've been in the 2nd one for a month or so. While the 3rd one feels a little tight, I can tell that I'm getting close!

Even if I'm not off "E" yet on the scale, my existing clothes are fitting better and that's measurable progress!

Summer Update

I've not posted in some time since I got discouraged over my lack of weight progress and that posting food intake was getting, well boring.

However, that doesn't mean the project is done. Instead I've been focusing on other aspects of loosing weight, mainly exercise. The place where I work started a walking program via the American Heart Association. The goal is to hit 10K steps per day. Everyone that participated received a pedometer and promised to record their total steps every day for a twelve week period.

Well, I'm closing in on the end of the 12 week period and except for a few rainy days, I've been pretty good at hitting 10K per day. I turned my evening walks into a routine and cover about 3-3.5 miles in an hour time frame. That usually puts me over the top of whatever I've manged to walk around the office and home.

In addition, I've started taking the stairs at work every time I need to exit our office area. We're on the 3rd floor so that's good exercise up and down the stairs 6 or so times per day. I allow myself 1 elevator ride per day. I usually take that when I first arrive.

I've also kept busy doing home improvement on the weekends. Home repair and wood working can produce a lot of steps. So much so that on most weekends I'm at 10K steps by the end of the day without going on my walkabout.

So what has all this done do my weight? Hard to tell. The scale still says "E" so I guess I'm still above 340. However, my spouse told me my stomach looked smaller and that I looked like I've lost weight. I've also noticed the following:

• I'm one size smaller on my belt
• My pants are looser
• Bending over at the waist is a litter easier (hey, at 6'5" bending over is a chore no matter how heavy I am)
• My face and neck area seem less "full", i.e. my double chin isn't so pronounced.

All this has me feeling better about myself despite not being able to crack "E" on the scale. I'm inclined re-start the eating side of the program now that I feel the exercise is something sustainable.

Stopping

Next challenge is to stop when full, or better yet recognizing what being full feels like.

Last night I know I ate too much. I was uncomfortably full. I'm a sucker for fried chicken and even after saying I need to stop, I went ahead and ate another piece. At least I was honest with myself about it.

Today I opted to once again have Panera soup and salad (full sizes of each). I ended up dunking the bread in Pimento and Cheese spread (yum, that's a hummer). After finishing off the soup and bread with Pimento and Cheese, I decided to call a halt to eating. Normally I would have eaten the salad because I had ordered it and didn't want it to go to waste. Instead I'll call myself full and store the salad for this evening or even tomorrow.

Little Victories

There's that saying about the journey of 1000 miles beginning with a single step - in my case it's more like the journey of weight loss beginning with little victories. If I don't celebrate them no matter how small I'm likely to forget that this is a journey and not an instantaneous event.

I'll celebrate resisting hot dogs. I know, seems silly but I love Nathan's hot dogs. I know they are not the best for me, but darn they are good on a New England roll with mustard, onions, relish, and sauce. Mmmmmm.. I can usually eat 4-5 of the long ones for dinner along with baked beans and some fries. I try to limit that meal to once a month or so since I can just wolf them down. Well, this evening was the meal and I'm proud of myself for only eating 3 plus the beans and no fries and a diet Pepsi.

Over the course of my readings about weight loss I've encountered articles about waiting 20 minutes in between courses. Ya, right! How about waiting a little bit - say 5 or 10 minutes. So I tried that - taking a break between courses for a few minutes and then resumed. At the time I stopped I wanted another couple of hot dogs. When I resumed I ate one but then started to feel full so I stopped, finished my Pepsi and then cleaned up. I did peek at the carrot cake I made yesterday but didn't have a piece - yet.

So, I'll give myself another atta boy for pausing between courses, eating 1-2 less hot dog than usual and not eating dessert right away - and I walked for 40 minutes even though it was threatening rain outside.

Something to a Big Breakfast?

I'm glad I had that big breakfast today. It gave me a chance to compare my eating habits today vs. usual days of little to no breakfast. While it's not conclusive, perhaps there's something to it since I don't feel like I at that much today by comparison.

I didn't really start to get hungry again until 2:30 PM after I got back from grocery shopping. Normally I would have opened a bag of chips and had salsa while I stowed the groceries. Instead I made myself a bowl of cottage cheese and pears and nibbled on that while putting things away. By the time I was done, I had a glass of lemon aid and feel comfortable. No gnawing pinched feeling. An hour or so later I did have chips and salsa but not a whole bag as usual. I grabbed 2 handfuls of chips, put them in a bowl and ate just those. I did want more when I was done but didn't.

I did make a low fat carrot cake (200 calories per slice vs 500+) for dessert this week and then a broccoli cheese-n-rice casserole for dinner, including some homemade corn biscuits. Yumm!! Ate about 1.5 helping of the casserole and 2 biscuits. Not bad. Went for my 40 minute walk after and had a medium decaf coffee and 1 small square of the carrot cake when I got back.

I feel like I did a good job managing my eating today and felt like I ate less than I normally do on a Sunday. I'll have to try the "larger breakfast" idea during the week and see how it goes.

Sunday Morning Breakfast

Although I've previously posted about not being a breakfast eater, there is one exception - Sunday morning is big breakfast time. Bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast and coffee are the usual fare. I make it then eat it while reading the Sunday paper.

This morning was no exception. I started making it about 9 AM and by 9:30 ish I was ready to eat. Yumm!! Ya, the bacon probably isn't the best for me and I cook the eggs in part of the bacon grease but man is it good. Normally I eat about 8 slices of bacon and 2 slices of toast. I'll give my self an "atta boy" for only consuming 5 slices of bacon and 1 piece of toast. When my stomach felt full I stopped. My head kept telling me to eat, but I had a glass of water to wash the salty taste down and finished my cup of coffee.

Last night I managed to have a small late night snack with friends over drinks. 1 bag of popcorn and a few handfuls of potato chips helped by 4 scotches. I still want that PBJ but I ate only a spoonful of peanut butter and jelly. Better than eating a whole sandwich. I did get in a 45 minute walk between 7:30 and 8:30 PM. Most weekends are much worse on the consumption front so I feel like I'm doing a better job.

Patiently Waiting on Dinner

I made a complex dinner this evening that took FOREVER to finish. Probably 1.5 hrs all together. Normally I would have snacked my way through making it, but I didn't tonight. I waited. Oh, I had a carrot and part of a toasted corn tortilla that was left over from the recipe, but I didn't really eat anything despite having that pinched feeling. I patiently waited on the casserole to be done.

When it was finished I tried my best not rush through it. Between my wife, daughter and myself we finished a little over half of it. The dish serves 8-10, so I figure I ate 2.5 helpings. I did give into the sweetness craving with a bit of ice cream, but I'll need that to cool down the spice of the dish later on, if you know what I mean...

All in all, I'm rather proud of my eating behavior this evening. I didn't snack, didn't stuff myself to an extreme despite my hunger level and had a small treat. I found other things to do while waiting that got me out of the kitchen and got food off my mind.

Perhaps I can go the rest of the evening with out eating and work in a walk if it stops raining.