A Year On

Here it is the first week of 2011 and I'm lighter by nearly 50 lbs than I was at this time last year. Officially at 298.5 lbs. The holidays "forced" me to put on more weight than I wanted. At my lightest, I was 284 - about 15 lbs from where I am now and 4 lbs then from the 280 lb goal - and unable to take that next step.

Still, 2010 was a good year for me. I'm lighter, in better shape and can honestly say that I'm all the better for it despite my 15 lb weight gain from my low point. I'm thrilled that I've lost the weight and disappointed that I can't seem to loose more.

On the plus side, I can see that geting back on the "live and let diet" eating cycle will cause the weight to come off. My problem is that I can't seem to stay on it. I end up eating a few handfulls of this, some of that, and before you know it I'm hauling down a Pop-Tart and a glass of milk. And when I do manage to break the cycle, I end up getting discouraged by not not loosing more than I feel I should.

I feel I have more weight to loose, the hard part is staying true to the goal and not just being satisfied with the nearly 50 I've lost. In looking back at my 2010, I had some goals - see myself, be at 317, 299, 290, etc. Some of those goals were pretty big - like seeing myself. I had no idea how far I had to go or how close I was to 330. Now I see myself daily and can measure progress (more recently lack there of). I hit most of them by loosing 1-2 lbs a week. Somehow during the year I expected to start loosing more per week - big jumps, perhaps in thinking I needed to catch up for the "yo-yo" effect.

I tried jogging (not me), tried eating new items (more yogurt, granola, etc), and all the while expected large per week jumps in weight loss. Perhaps my expectations got the better of me over the summer and (perhaps) what I need to do is return to the expectations I had last year when I started seeing results: That by staying true to how I was eating and putting in my body I can expect to loose a little bit of weight over time. I'd be happy to loose 5-7 lbs in a month, 15 lbs in 3 or so and not let my expectations get the better of me in the short run. It's a long haul game and I need to play it like that.

So to start 2011 I have 2 interesting items: (1) I have a cruise to go on the second week of January. (2) the HR dept at work is issuing a "weight loss accountability" challenge - report on your percentage progress toward a goal. Do I take that as a challenge to try and stick to my 1-2 lbs per week weight loss and shoot for 6-7 lbs lost in January (back being 290 or so) while at the same time doing a cruise?? Last cruise I lost 3 lbs by exercising, taking the stairs and watching what I ate.

I think I'm up to a January challenge to be 290 come the end of the month.

Weight To Believe

I don't know if I've written about this yet but I've been experiencing some mild to sever GI distress over the last 4-6 weeks. 'Nuf said. At any rate I finally decided to see my physician about it, but while I was in the office I took the opportunity to weigh myself on their scale - just for grins and giggles. 314 lbs. I was fully clothed, carrying my wallet, keys, and wearing boots not to mention it was late in the day. Somehow I don't think all that weights 8 lbs - 4 perhaps but certainly not 8.

Also that day I weighted myself at home early in the morning wearing nothing but a smile - 299 lbs. WHAT! Wait, that can't be right. Off and on for a couple of minutes and it really only varied by 1 lb, call it 299.5 lbs. I could not have lost 6 lbs in 1 week. No way, no how (have I mentioned I hate my home scale?).

This AM I weighed myself again - 304.5 lbs which is closer to reality for my home scale. So I guess I'll go with what got me here - using my home scale. And while I'm sure that my clothing and on-person paraphernalia add a few pounds and that I gain some weight during the day, I'm not prepared to believe that it's in the 8-10 lbs range.

Have I really lost weight? My physician's nurse noticed the weight loss and asked me about it, but I already knew I looked different. The real question is how much. At a minimum I've lost 24.5 lbs since I've been able so see my weight on my home scale. I had to loose some to get there however. The last "official" weight I had was 351 lbs on the Dr's scale. That's the upper bound. At 314 lbs on the office scale I've lost 37 lbs - nothing to sneeze at but not the 46.5 lbs that I believe I've lost according to the 351 upper bound and my current home scale reading of 304.5. There's a difference of 9.5 lbs somewhere (did I mention I hate my home scale).

My long term goal is to loose 100 lbs. I feel I'm close to 1/2 way according to my home scale but I can't account for the nearly 10 lbs I saw the other day on my Dr's scale. Even if I'm a little further away from the 1/2 way point I still feel good about where I'm at, what I've accomplished and how the process is going.

It's all good!

Weight Honesty

To be honest I think I was more passionate about the weigh issue when I couldn't see my weight on the scale. Since then I've been doing nothing but (*gasp*) loosing weight every week. To be fair I've not been entirely honest about my progress. I did start out writing what I weighed every week and to be fair to myself there isn't a weigh there that wasn't on the scale. My fudging has actually been on the under-reporting side - ya, I actually tend to weigh a little less than what I've been saying on a weekly basis.

My "reasoning", if you can call it that, was so I could "feel" I made weight loss progress even if I didn't for a given week. Turns out so far I haven't needed that under-padding. Every week I've lost about 1-2 lbs but now there's a large gap - like 5.5 lbs worth that will be hard to report on. Better just own up to whatever the scale says instead of fudging a higher weight - sounds silly.

In that spirit the scale said 306.5 lbs this morning. I don't believe that's actually correct since it's also said 308 but repeated weighting kept saying 306.5 so I guess I'll have to go with that. Hopefully I won't find out the scale lied to me and I'm actually 308 and change. I hate and am afraid not to loose something per week. I don't want to plateau and have to debug what's going on.

So, we're nearly at 45 lbs. lost and I'm really proud of myself for that. I may need to get a new belt soon, not to mention more new pants, since I'm also closing in on 4 inches off my waste line. I stared out as a snug 46 and am now a loose 44. I have a pair of old corduroys size 42 that I want to be able to comfortably slip on. They are really out of style but it's a clothing goal.

Old Clothes, New Feelings

Reaching in the back of the closet the other morning I discovered a pile of my clothes that I had not seen in ages. Evidently my wife put some "too small" pants and a few "too narrow" shirts away for safe keeping as I moved up the scale. For kicks I decided to give them a whirl and found that a couple of the pants and most of the shirts were now wearable, although horribly out of style. It made me feel really good that I'm making progress despite the fact that they are headed to the textile recycling bin at the dump next week.

Also as I look at myself in the mirror I see that my face is no longer as round as it was, but square to angular. I recognize the eyes looking back at me, but the face seems strange. There are other parts of my upper anatomy that look strangely new to me as well; my neck, shoulder muscles, arms and hand are showing definition (and age) that was hidden. It makes me wonder about the body that will emerge over time. I'm not going as far as the butterfly in the cocoon but that's the image that pops in to my head.

All this is getting me paranoid that I'll hit some plateau and not loose any more weigh, give up and regain it all. That's my greatest fear at this point. Still at 312 lbs. this week - 39 lbs total in just 4+ months! - I would be happy to maintain this status for a time. I don't want to sound satisfied but I am happy/ecstatic with my progress. Never the less I want to hit that next milestone of 299! It feels close and reachable now.

I feel as if I've crossed some threshold on the way down that I can loose as much as I want by managing how much and what I eat, and feel that I can manage it. I feel good about the food I'm putting in me, even as I feel I can eat less of it. It feels somewhat like when I kicked smoking - a feeling that I could manage it from here on out. I don't feel as "attached" to food as I used to be. Its there to nourish, provide some "spice" to life, a setting to enjoy with others but not something I'm focused on as I once was. It's a much better feeling!

Trac Check

I'm creping up on 4 months since I changed my eating habits. As I've noted, 4 months on any "new thing" is about all I can sustain before lapsing back into old ways. In some ways I can feel this pulling at me. I've drifted away somewhat from trying to maintain the "everyday" list and even unconsciously ordered fast food when the family decided to have Taco Bell - I did try one of the burritos from the "drive through diet" menu. That by itself violated 2 of the "don't eat" list items - fast food and any item with the word "diet" in it.

But I didn't shoot myself over it. I acknowledged what happened decided that it wasn't catastrophic and went on. Eating that "diet" burrito wasn't "wrong" or "bad" it was just something I ate. I enjoyed it, we had a great family evening meal together and that was better than sticking 100% to any plan.

Still I'm finding more variations that I'd like as I get closer to the 4 month line. I'm making measurable progress and now that it is warmer out I've added walking back into the mix - as long as it's above 40 and not raining, I'll walk for an hour in the evening.

On the plus side I'm getting used to the avocado, fruit and greens for lunch, but at the expense of everyday carrots in a salad. Broccoli is become at least a once a week thing. Still no soda, I'm eating breakfast every day, I'm spending more time and money in the fruit and veggies section of the store, sweets are way down. I feel best about the "no more than once per week list".

I think it is time to watch the "Live and Let Diet" episode again to refresh my memory - I have it saved on DVR. It's also time to remind myself that I have lost enough weight to see myself on the scale, which is a huge accomplishment for me. My weight loss continues at about 1-2 lbs per week - this week I'm at 321.5 lbs. I've  lost nearly 30 lbs and have 4.5 to go to hit my next goal of 317.

I'm trying to look past the 4 month line to see myself as a "thin-er" person. So far it's looking better than it has in a long time.

Back in the Saddle

A little more than a week later and I'm at 328.5 lbs. My intent is not to start logging my weight per week, but reflect a bit on what happened over the intervening 8 days. It certainly was a lesson on my lifestyle changes and also of a willingness to keep at it.

The "seeing myself" mark gave me a great feeling of euphoria - it was a goal I had been after for a year. I felt so good in fact that I rewarded myself with some of those Girl Scout cookies that were still hanging around. In fact I ate a lot of them - binged I did.

Add to it that there were some rather emotional events going on within the family and familiar comfort food (and lots of it) became an emotional outlet. By Saturday I really started to feel the additional consumption but didn't want to stop the process. Funny enough, my body wouldn't let me continue down that path.

On the weekends I usually don't have my breakfast smoothie yet by Saturday night, that's exactly what I wanted for breakfast on Sunday. No eggs, not bacon or sausage but my fruit smoothie - a new comfort food? Perhaps but what does it say about the power of change when the craving isn't for the old familiar comfort foods but the new one? I didn't resist the urge since I knew it was right. Sunday AM I had my new familiar breakfast and was able to better control my eating binges. By Monday I was back in the groove again and starting to add my evening hour walks again, as the New England weather permits.

Loosing 1.5 lbs over the course of 8 days won't set the world on fire but it's progress and good progress at that. Overcoming emotional eating with new comfort food is comforting indeed.

Seeing Myself

I've arrived at a point in the journey that I've been after for nearly a year now. My first post was on March 22, 2009. At that point I weighed 351 lbs. Since then I've read, researched, walked, gone without food, counted calories, logged what I eat, given up, started over and more. Through all of that I've had a single initial objective - I wanted to see my weight on my home scale.

There have been a number of "almost" moments, only to discover that my heals or toes or sides of my feet were off the scale. As a result I've taken to weighing myself 3 or 4 times in a row just to check that I'm not getting a false reading. I've tried to limit my weight check to once or twice per week so I don't get to fixated on it. 

For nearly a year the scale has said "E" - too much weight. Well today is said 330, 329, 330, 330, 329. No matter how I stood or where I put the scale it never said "E"! I have to tell you that I smiled and despite the rough day at work, I kept on smiling! I'd finally hit my initial objective - I see myself, as I am and can measure change. 

Now, I have no idea where I was weight-wise when I restarted this time, but I know where I was when I first started and that was 351 lbs. I'm at 330 now - so put me down for 21 pounds.

I need another objective now, besides just staying below 330. I'm not sure what it'll be yet - I'm still thinking about it. I want it to be achievable but far enough out there that it'll be challenging to get to. My initial thoughts are:

• 309, basically another 21 lbs (would be a good theme, another 21)
• 300, a nice "round" number
• some non-weight target, like see how far I can get in 6 weeks (probably too much pressure)
• below 317 - the lowest weight I've been at in the last 3-4 years (I'm liking this one).

The below 317 is interesting - it's personal, has no time limit and since I can now track weight gain/loss I can see how long it takes to get there. Humm..

I do want to remind myself of a few things:

• I'm still eating what I enjoy/like, just less of it (hot dogs, tacos, burgers, meat loaf)
• I've changed a lot at once - quantity, timing of types (1 meat, 1 pasta, etc)
• I'm eating some new things - sardines/fish, avocados, green tea
• I'm eating healthy things - lots more fruits and veggies
• I'm conscious about my sugar intake - sweets are limited, but still enjoyable (and home made)
• My alcohol consumption is way down.

This is the path that I've wanted - better diet but I can still eat the things I like, e.g. hot dogs, pizza, meat loaf, etc. I just don't eat them all in the same week and week after week. I'm eating them spread out over time. I see my biggest change as eating less red meat - 1 time per week as a main dish. And now that it's getting warmer, it's time to start walking again.

Progress, but..

I'm doing reasonably well with keeping to the 4 lists. I'm doing very good on the "don't eat" and "once per week" lists, and a little better on the "at least 3x" since I've incorporated avocados. The "every day" I'm still not 100% on. Still I and others (mainly my spouse) have noticed some differences:

• I definitely have more energy
• My pants and shirts are not as binding as they used to be. In fact I've had to move down a notch on my belt to keep my pants on
• My midsection doesn't protrude as much as it used to
• Bending over at the waist to pick items up from the floor isn't as difficult
• Tying my shoes can be done without having to strain

I try to reflect on those when I feel there's not enough progress being made, a state that I find myself in right now. I'd really like to be able to see what my weight is on my home scale, but it still registers "E" despite all the above being true. I could just get one that will register at least 350 and be done with it but it would be nice to know I've crossed that threshold. I feel I'm close - perhaps within 5 or 6 pounds. 

I know I'm eating less and eating better foods but one thing I don't know is what my caloric intake is on a daily basis. I'm not really interested in keeping track every day but once a week or once every other week would give me a good indicator of what I'm consuming. I believe I'm consuming somewhere between 2000 and 2500 calories per day but without counting I'll never know.

Today will be a counting day.

How Long Can I Resist

It's Girl Scout cookie time, again and I've got 5 boxes staring at me from the top of my book shelf here at work. I purchased them before I started on this new eating habit routine and I'm reluctant to break any of them open for fear that I'll consume all 5 boxes, or at least all of the Thin Mints.

Couple of options:

• Give them away (daughter, son who don't seem to gain weight)
• Make a dessert out of them and share it
• eat them slowly - don't think I can do this
• eat at least some of each of them - more likely but I'll need to control my access to them

I'm liking the dessert option - perhaps using the thin mints as a crust.

New Experience

Monday to Friday I eat lunch pretty much on schedule - sometime between 12 - 1:30 PM. I'm usually hungry at that point, even when I wasn't on a eating plan/system. It's rarely the case that I don't finish what ever I've brought or purchased.

Today I tossed out better than half the salad I got for lunch. After eating on it for 20 or so minutes (and adding the sardines into it) I didn't really want any more. I can't recall the last time I tossed out part of my lunch. Certainly not earth shattering but new for me.

For a while I considered pushing through and eating it all but decided that I'd just give up on it. I'm not certain if I've just had one too many salads with fish over the last several weeks or was truly full. I think it's more the later since I'm not ravenously hungry at the moment. I did have a Kashi bar at 12 during a meeting since I didn't want to get to the point of being really hungry at lunch. Perhaps that had something to do with it.

Eating Habits

I'm still trying to eat when hungry, where hunger has physical manifestation (nausea, headache, etc). I'm usually able to skip breakfast and get though most of the work day with out eating anything substantial other than chewing gum and coffee. If I do that, then by the time I get home I'm ready to eat dinner (or anything I can get my hands on). And I will eat. I don't know that I eat any less, but if feels better knowing that I haven't consumed the calories for breakfast and lunch.

Dinner is a social thing. Family time to some extent, where as breakfast and lunch are more solitary pursuits. Also dinner is a creative outlet - I like to cook, bake, etc. If I'm extremely hungry after skipping breakfast and lunch I may snack on peanuts while I'm preparing dinner - not all the time, but in the first 15-30 minutes.

If I've eaten a lot the night before, I may be able to go all of the work day without feeling physically hungry. If not, I've noticed that a light lunch, cup of soup, or a small serving of left-overs, helps get me to dinner. This is instead of a large lunch.

All in all my eating largely revolves around what I eat at home as opposed to being at work or out and about. I've noticed that my late evening snacking has crept back into my routine despite my "desire" to eliminate it. I've started eating breakfast on the weekend, but usually only on 1 of the 2 days.

I still can't see myself on the scale but I have noticed that my pants no longer feel as tight as they did, I have a bit more energy and my belly area isn't protruding so much. I feel better about this route since it matches more of how my life actually is and not how it should be. Trying to stop eating when physically full (basically learning what "full" is) and snacking when not physically hungry (why am I eating then?) are the items I feel I need to work on next.

On Breakfast and other items

I didn't purposely stop writing I just, well got a little off track since my return from vacation. For some reason I just didn't feel like writing and logging food consumption.

I did however notice something. During that interval I got away from eating breakfast - skipping it in fact. As a result my late afternoon and evening snacking picked up. Not horribly so, but it was decidedly different from where I was in the prior weeks. So this week I've made an attempt to return to having something for breakfast besides just gum and coffee.

Another item that's beginning to frustrate me is not being able to see myself on the scale - my weight that is. I had a Dr's apt before I left to go on vacation and asked to weigh myself while I was there. 342 was what the scale read which was a loss of 8 lbs - which is in the right direction. I think my scale at home starts a 339 so I was hoping after my return that I would have lost 3 lbs. No so. That may have contributed to not wanting to write - i.e. lack of measurable progress which always throws me off diets. However, I'll keep plugging away at this.

I do notice that my pants/shirts and other apparel are fitting less snug and that I have better freedom of movement when bending/squatting/etc. So anecdotal evidence says I'm making some progress.

I'm still walking and trying to do 10,000 steps per day. So far, I'm averaging a little over that on a per week basis.

Break Time

As you can tell by the lack of posts I've been away. Took a trip down to see my mom. I felt I did OK while I was away, although it's hard to resist her cooking, especially the pies. Only once or twice during the week did I really eat a lot - once when we had a pork roast and the other when we went out to eat. Other than that I ate 3 times per day and then only when I was at a full level of 4 or less.

I drove and usually that means snacking. This time, however, I didn't bring many snacks in the car. 1 single can of pringles and a 6 pack of cheese doodles. The cheese doodles were the individual service sizes and it took me 4 travel days to eat all of them. Not bad.

We worked outside in the yard a lot getting her flower beds ready for spring. Lots of mulching, planting and moving thing around. I probably got more exercise that I usually do.

I'll be back to the food logging and reading going forward.

Even When You Don't Feel Like It

I haven't written much lately other than food logs. I've been kinda down in the dumps wondering when I'll be able to see myself (my weigh rather) on the scale. My scale only shows up to 339 lbs. I've got to loose about 10 lbs before it'll show up. I'm awaiting that moment as I try to put on this new process. I've had my successes and slides (it's not failure, it is what it is) but I feel as if I am making progress despite what the scale doesn't say.

I've not been eating breakfast because frankly I'm not a breakfast person. If I'm going to be honest about my eating, I'm just not able to eat much in the morning. However, I do know that a little breakfast is a good thing so I'll wait until I get to a stage 3 or 4 hunger level (where I start to get a little queasy) before attempting to eat and then regardless of time, eat what I feel like eating - today (well yesterday actually but I couldn't find it) was lemon yogurt. I purchased a few more in case I wanted them later in the week.

And walking - I was doing really good there for a while, then we had rain and I got out of the habit. Last night I didn't really feel like walking but I did it anyway and felt the better for it. It's 50 minutes and the exercise is good for me given that I sit most of the day.

On my reading, I'm up to the part about being full and what that feels like. Similar to the hungry angle, it's an experiment to figure out what being full feels like and then what to do about it. The reading also talks about eating just for the heck of it. It's not wrong, just realize that your doing it and perhaps why. I haven't felt successful with the Hummer vs Beckoner aspect. There's too fine a line for me there. Being hungry and full is more directly measurable for me so I'll continue to do that and start rating my fullness before and after meals trying to find that sweet spot (so to speak) where I feel the need to start eating and then stop without overeating.

Binging

From the last several food logs I can see (and perhaps feel) myself building up to an eating binge. My body's wanting something sweet. I've been dreaming about Resee's Peanut Butter Cups - the mini ones.

Interestingly enough, I'm at a point in the book I'm reading where there's a discussion on eating what your body tells you to eat vs. denying it. According to the book, the denial aspect is a root cause of binging. So along with understanding hunger is what to eat when you are hungry.

My "diet" has been to try and make healthy choices when hungry. The book's suggesting that when you are hungry, eat what your body wants. Failure to do so does two things in their opinion:

• even though you're now full, you're body's still demanding what it wanted
• you'll eat it eventually even if you are full

In some examples the book gave, people ate ice cream instead of salad for a meal, even going to the point of putting away a prepared meal in order to eat what the body desired.

The key in all of this from my vantage point is not simply to eat what you want whenever, but that by feeding the body what it's hungry for when it's hungry (and not just what's convenient) you don't develop diet killing binges. In effect, there are no forbidden foods in loosing weight.

The idea of forbidden foods is a key point in diets from my vantage point. Every diet I've ever tried says in effect: "these are OK, those are not". Naturally I always want what I can't have - high fat meals, sweets, high-carb bread, etc. and in the end that's my downfall - eating the forbidden fruit as it were.

One suggestion was to record what's eaten as either a hummer or a beckoner. A Hummer is an extremely satisfying food that you crave even when you don’t see the food. Nothing will satisfy you besides that food. A Beckoner is something eaten only because it is there and not because it satisfies. You'll eat lots of beckoner while in search of a hummer.

Last night I was grumpy when I came home. I didn't want to cook dinner, which is unusual since I like to cook. I ended up snacking though the meal prep and then after dinner and on into the evening. I think my mood and my food grazing was because what I really wanted was peanut butter w/cold milk and not pork chops w/potatoes and gravy. I did eat the peanut butter but late in the evening before I went to bed. Consequently this AM I feel sluggish, full, etc.

I'll have to do some serious thinking about hummers and beckoners and separating one from the other. Also, how do hummers and beckoners work with family meal planning?

Small Changes

I've been going at this regimen about 2 weeks now and although I still can't see my weight on my home scale I do notice a few things:

• those new pants I purchased feel a little looser on my waist/hip area
• I have a better range of motion when bending over
• my stomach area doesn't protrude as much
• I find it a little easier to not snack in the evening
• I've quit snacking between arriving home and eating dinner
  

I've tried to stick with eating breakfast. I can't say that I've notice a difference in my hunger level over the course of the day, but I'm certainly not ravenous at dinner. I've also tried to pay attention to a hunger level and am starting to get a feel for when I'm really hungry vs just using eating as an excuse for not having anything else to do.

My evening walks are serving a dual purpose, exercise and avoiding the danger zone - that period of the evening when I'm most likely to snack. At first the walks were only about 20 minutes, but I stretched them to 40 minutes and then just within the last couple of days, to 50 minutes. Unfortunately it's been a tad rainy so I can't get out as often as I did the first week. I can really tell the difference in the morning if I didn't walk the prior evening.

Weekend Reflections

Weekends pose the biggest risk for over-indulging as far as I'm concerned. From Friday through Sunday evening I'm extremely tempted to snack my way through those hours instead of eating foods that are better for me, in particular corn chips with salsa.

Part of that is alcohol consumption. I tend to binge drink on the weekend, especially Friday and Saturday evenings. The rest of the week I'm dry, but I let it hang out on those 2 evenings. Sometimes that's with friends at my favorite watering hole, other times it's at home with friends just relaxing. If I'm out I do not drive - that's firm. My mainstays are scotch & soda and rum & diet coke. Occasionally I may have a beer evening, but that's rare.

This past weekend was unusual in that Friday and Saturday evening meals were eaten out. Friday at a steak house with my wife and son and Saturday out with friends at a fundraiser. As I indicated earlier, my unconscious eating was after I returned home with the drinks helping me right along.

The weekend was also rainy which kept me from walking. I think I would have felt better about it had I been able to have my evening walk (or mid day since I was out Saturday evening). I did manage to get a 50 minute one in on Sunday and was predictably hungry this AM. I had to find a new walk route since road and sidewalk construction has started again on the main route I'm used to taking.

Trying to be Good

This evening was challenging. We had a favorite family meal this time: meat loaf, mashed potatoes, gravy and mixed veggies. I usually end up stuffing myself until I feel uncomfortable. This evening we ended up eating later than usual, almost 7:30 PM so I was hungry despite my late lunch.

Problem was I was hungry in my head when I hit the door. Normally I would have had chips & salsa or peanut butter & crackers but I didn't. I did have 2 oz of tuna in 1 oz of olive oil in an attempt to provide a pre-meal, high satiety appetizer. I read about this while investigating where hunger comes from. Figured no time like the present to give it a try.

Well I certainly didn't snack any more until dinner, which was about 2.5 hours after I came home. I did eat 2 helping of everything for dinner, however, but I did stop then even though my head wanted more. I was going to have some carrot cake, but I decided to wait to see if I felt hungry later.

Since it's rainy tonight I can't walk outside and now at a bit passed 10 PM, I'm not really hungry for that piece of carrot cake. I want it, but I'm not hungry for it. I'm not sure this is an "atta boy" since I did eat a bit more at dinner that I really needed but it is a step in the right direction.

Eating Schedule Myth

Trying to maintain an eating schedule, e.g. breakfast by X time, lunch by Y time, etc. is a myth, well at least for my life anyway. Where as yesterday I was hungry before 7 AM, this morning I didn't feel like eating until almost 10 and even then I had to force myself to eat (LOL, what a hardship) so I wouldn't skip it entirely.

I had hoped that by eating breakfast I would establish a more predictable eating pattern that eliminated the hi/lows of being hungry at any one point. So much for that wish. On balance I think eating breakfast has helped - I certainly feel I have more energy in the early parts of the AM (provided I eat then) than when I was not eating breakfast. I've tried several different types of foods and although I haven't settled on a favorite the experimentation has been fun!

All that said, I do think it's important to eat when I feel hungry rather than waiting until an appointed time and consuming an appropriate amount of food rather than binging until I get that full feeling. By that time I'll have eaten too much and it's too late to give it back.

Slow Bloat

I was extremely hungry when I hit the door at 6:15 PM this evening. My big breakfast had long worn off as had lunch and I wasn't being patient about eating. My wife had the pasta chicken dish ready when I got home. I had 2 helpings and really had to force myself not to have a third. Since I was still hungry I decided to wait a bit before eating more. After an hour, I had some milk and a piece of that carrot cake. My GI track still felt empty but I didn't eat anything else.

I had some errands to run in town with my daughter and while I was out started to feel full. As the evening wore on and I went on my walk, I really felt like I'd had too much to eat. I was definitely not hungry any more. I felt really bloated. I'm wondering if pasta or the sauce on it has some delayed dietary effect or if I really ate more than I needed to. I felt great for not having that 3rd bowl, but should I have had less, perhaps just 1 despite how hungry I still felt?